Lately, people have been telling me constantly to "Be Strong." It has been so constant, in fact, I started to resent the statement. Truthfully, I'd been repeating it to myself for the past few months, so as others joined the fray it just got to be too much. I thought "Be Strong" is B.S.
What is strength?
What does it mean to "be strong"?
I really don't know. What I do know is that strength is relative. I am strong enough physically to fight with the best of them--believe that! I am strong enough to carry my mother when she is weak--know that! Physically, there is no doubt but that I am strong. I can feel my physical strength and measure it.
Emotional strength, well, that is a different story altogether. I can't feel this strength and, as a result, I am struggling to define and categorize it, and to really know what people are asking of me.
I keep questioning myself trying to grasp the concept:
Is just putting one foot in front of the other strength?
Is it moving when your body is so tired and you seem to be functioning on autopilot?
Is strength pretending to understand the incomprehensible?
Is it smiling when all you want to do is go curl up in ball and retreat, scream, cry and curse?
Is sitting watching being strong? Is trying to maintain a routine being strong?
Is it silence?
Somedays these simple things take all the strength I have.
I'm just not sure any of these things are being strong. I am not sure I am adhering to the advisement of my friends, family or myself because strength is so abstract for me in this life's moment.
So for right now, be strong is B.S. because I can't even conceive it!
Documenting my evolution by filling in space and matter one word at a time.